Your wedding is a demonstration of merging families. Not only are the two of you merging your identity, you now have in-laws. And let’s not forget your friends! Just by bringing the friends you have accumulated over the years, you are also inviting them to become friends with each other as well.
The special reminders
Almost all of my ceremonies include a reminder that this is an opportunity to expand friendships. I am a big proponent of reminding your guests that yes, the two of you are getting married. But in a way they too are becoming one as well. Your guests will go home and share stories of your wedding day. This in itself is a unifying theme. For better or worse, you are inviting your partner’s families into yours. Brother-in-law, sister-in-law, cousins-in-law, the circles just keep expanding.
Designing your ceremony
When you are designing your ceremony keep in mind the little touches. Touches which silently say, “I honor you” to your families. You don’t have to give up your individuality as a couple to honor your families. In truth you are merging families here. You can signify their place in your hearts through unspoken touches. As an Ordained Minister I am entitled to wear robes which indicate that you see your official union as a solemn occasion. The inclusion of robes denotes a more “official” ceremony than what may be presented by a suit.
Rituals
Consider including a ritual (see previous blog about rituals) to expand your circle of love. It is perfectly understandable that some people in your circles will feel left out. Only so many people can be attendants during your ceremony after all. What if you invited your guests to participate in creating an infinity symbol with flower petals during your vows, or even before you enter?
Healthy Boundaries
Healthy boundaries are important as you create your new status as a married couple. Reaching out to everyone in your circles that they too are part of your new identity can be important as well. By getting married you are expanding the love. Consider creating ways to invite others to expand the love as well.
I wish you long and happy years together as a married couple.
It’s All Love,
Rev Brian
