Many couples consider adding their Personal Vows during their ceremony. These are not to be confused with the “official vows” I do for you. Personal Vows customize your ceremony in a very special way. If you think of these vows as speaking from your heart to your loved one you are on the right path. There is no formula for writing your words, in fact, the more heartfelt they are, the more they will mean to both of you as well as your guests.
Here are some tips I like to give my couples as they begin thinking about what they might say:
Write them out
Write your vows on 3×5 cards, one of those cute books you can get at the Bridal store, an I Love You card or even on a simple sheet of paper. You may choose to simply use bullet points about what you want to say. Whichever way you choose, I highly recommend writing them down. Most of all, in the excitement of the moment you don’t want to forget something important. A word of caution: some couples feel using their phones is the way to go, but respectfully, I disagree. What happens if there is no cell coverage? Also, fumbling for your phone during the ceremony is very distracting.
Come from the heart
Don’t worry about your grammar or syntax, if what you are saying is from the heart, your guests and your partner will hear your heart speaking.
Share your story
Personal Vows are not legally binding so don’t worry about including formal elements such as “I promise to love and honor you.”
Feel free to include inside jokes about your relationship. Many of your friends will understand and laugh along with you. Certainly your partner will understand!
Are they too long?
The most frequent question I get asked about these vows is: “How long should they be?” The answer is; if you are doing them with love, time is immaterial. Of course you don’t want to do a thirty minute comedy routine. Simply say what is important to you. Once you have written out your vows, read through them out loud with a timer nearby. One to two minutes can seem like an eternity when you are speaking in front of people, but certainly no one will get bored.
Have fun, speak from your heart, and direct your thoughts to your partner. Even if you choke-up while saying your Personal Vows don’t worry. Your partner and your guests will feel the love you are trying to express.
If you wish, I will send you a Personal Vow thought starter file that may help you with the process.
See you at the ceremony!
It’s All Love,
Rev Brian
